New Rules: Rule of the Heterosexual?

I had done it; I had survived the war. Once a year every year single men and women around the world must don their armor and brave the battlefield that is the outside world. The ominous hues of reds and pinks and whites all threaten to overpower and if you're not careful you'll find yourself at the mercy of the Lonely Blues. This Valentines Day was especially vociferous as it was the first since the lifting of many COVID restrictions in the district. Fortunately this year I would be escaping the singles war as I actually had a date with a great guy who rode in like my Lancelot in shining armor to shield me from the arrows of pity shot off by the happily coupled.
His name was Wade Thompson. So far on our lunch break date he had revealed to me that he worked as a LGBTQ and Sexual Health Program Manager for DCPS, 34, no kids, had an affinity for video games, and based off the tattoos in his Jack'd profile pictures shared my undying love for Wonder Woman. He was a Virgo with so many things in common with me that it felt too good to be true. Though I was hanging to his every word I also couldn't help myself but to fidget with my watch as we spoke. Mainly out of nerves but also out of concern for time. I was on one of my "breaks" while teleworking so I had come to his job to eat with him. I was unsure of how long I could safely be away from my computer and my unease must've shown on my face as our date was cut short rather quickly with a promise to "hit me up later". 

Well February had come and gone and now it was after the Cherry Blossom festival in DC. Though we did in fact remain in contact for a few days after the date it eventually died off and we hadn't been in contact since. Flustered I called my best friend Nicole one morning to deliberate on the meaning of it all. 
"What do you think it means?" I asked my best friend via FaceTime once I had finished work for the day.
"Well girl I don't know. Maybe he just wan't interested?" Nicole offered. 
"Well geez tell me how you really feel," I said sarcastically while secretly praising her honesty. Oftentimes it was exactly what I needed to hear to save myself from unpleasant situations. 
"I'm serious. Maybe that's not a bad thing though. You are getting over a divorce after all. Maybe you should be taking more time for you? Figure out your dating rules so to speak. It has been a minute since you've done it?" she offered matter-of-factly, 
"Yeah talk about a great first date back in the game," I said morbidly.
"Well at least we can both agree that you looked fabulous," she said happily.
"And did! I bought that suit specifically for the date! I owned that!" I said with a tongue pop.
"Period!" she exclaimed laughing.
We talked for a few more minutes until I received a text from Tadeu saying that he was heading over to Shaw's Tavern for our brunch. 
"Shit! Girl I have to go. I have to get ready to go down to the tavern to meet Tadeu," I said after reading his message on the banner at the top of my screen.
"Oh? That sexy gay Army guy?" she inquired happily.
"Sexy maybe but definitely straight," I corrected.
"Mmhm. Girl tell me how it goes!" she said laughing. I promised to call her with the details before ending the call and making a mad dash for my closet. 
“Come on Naga. Let’s go get you walked. I’ve got big plans!” I said as I got out of bed and she followed suit. After brushing my teeth and plucking the ever present bits of her fur from my hair we were on our way out for an uneventful 30 minute walk. Normally these walks were to her benefit as they offered her opportunity to get out of the 590 sq. ft tuna can we lived in. She’s normally the only one bright eyed and bushy tailed as I trudge slightly behind grumpy from caffeine deficiency and not quite awake. Today I was keeping pace and had a spring in my step as well. 

After our walk we returned home where I fed and watered her before making myself a small breakfast. Nothing fancy but definitely more effort than I normally did any other day of the week. I actually found myself chopping vegetables for an omelet; a feat not normally conducted in my home despite the abundance of fresh veggies at any given time. This deviation looked more like me clumsily pouring coffee into a Thermus as I rushed out the door with my shirt half tucked as I clenched a bagel in my mouth in an effort to catch the train to work. 

After finishing my breakfast I showered to prepare for brunch in about an hour at one of my favorite spots in DC, Shaw’s Tavern. I was halfway down the hall to the restroom when I received a text from Tadeu.

“Hey. Good morning! I hope ur awake man! I ain’t tryin to hear u late when the place is down the street from u!!”

Rolling my eyes I laughed and responded quickly “Mind ya business! You just be ready!” 

After about 40 minutes I was out the door heading out into the hustle and bustle that is NWDC during brunch hours. I must say to be recovering from COVID lockdown the District of Columbia had never been the place to shy away from brunch-tivities as I called them. Through most of the lockdown different establishments kept the gay DC tradition of brunch alive as best they could with outdoor brunches, mask mandated indoor seating and other versions of the tradition. Before moving here two years ago this affinity for brunch was definitely a selling point to make me choose it as my first home post-Army. 

The city was definitely alive on this fair spring Sunday. Traffic was heavy as people shuttled to their preferred locales and the sidewalks bustled with those of us who preferred more scenic modes of transport. As I passed the intersection of Georgia and Florida Avenues the rhythm of the city was already busy pumping into pedestrian veins. GoGo, the signature music of the district could always be counted on to be played from the Metro PCS that stood adjacent to my apartment building. On long days after work I would sit on my terrace with my dog and a glass of wine and we would enjoy the energy provided from the streets below to refuel. 

After I passed this intersection I walked for another two blocks before arriving at Shaw’s. I was hardly surprised to see a small queue already forming outside the main doors. I smiled. The gays could forever be counted on for commerce and economic stimulation. Take a simple event like brunch. Not only did we come out in droves all over the city to sate our pallets with the various flavors of mimosas which brought business to a myriad of establishments, but we also provided retailers around the DMV with the same business (arguably more judging by some of the outfits). Brunch in DC was definitely more of a competitive sport to most than just a chance to have way too many glasses of champagne before noon. 
"About time you showed up! I thought I was going to have to send a search party," he said, standing to greet me with a hug.
"You almost had to. The streets are wild out there!" I said plopping down on my stool.
"Yeah. Don't you live like two streets away? How the hell did I get here before you?" he asked laughing. 
"Hey. You try walking a mile in my Giuseppe's" I retorted in mock defense. He leaned back to look at my boots.
"Yeah. I like my ankles thanks," he answered.
"I thought so. What're you drinking?" I asked nodding at his cup.
"Ah. Just rum and coke," he said taking a sip. "And you're about two drinks behind by the way," he added sitting his now empty cup back down.
"Mmm. In that case a mimosa" I said to the bartender who was waiting for my order. 
"Oh shit. One? Easy there cowboy," he said chuckling.
"Oh you jest but-" I motioned to the bottle of champagne being set before me with a small cup of orange juice.
"Damn! A whole bottle! That's how ya'll do out here?" he asked incredulously.
"Oh what's the matter? Afraid you won't be able to keep up?" I asked. He laughed and shook his head as the bartender bought  food menus. 
For about four hours he and I sat and talked about anything that came up. Conversation with him came so easily. He was extremely confident in himself and even very politely and assertively told the occasional guy that came up to flirt that he wasn't interested. The day was great and I didn't want it to end once we had paid our tabs but all good things must inevitably come to a close I suppose.
"Well. Looks like the street lights are on out there," I said casually.
"I see. Don't want you to lose a glass slipper there Cinderella," Tadeu joked.
"See I'm more worried about the bits of pumpkin stuck to my clothes," I responded.
"Well I’ll leave that dry cleaning bill on you but let me at least walk you home," he said as we stood on the corner to the restaurant.
"Okay. It'll be a short walk though. I'm just that building there," I said pointing to my apartment complex.
Tadeu stared for a moment before turning to me.
"Yo! Is that a rooftop?" he asked. I laughed. 
"Yes. Most buildings nowadays have roofs," I said. He nudged me in the shoulder.
"Shit let's go!" He said grabbing my wrist and pulling me behind him. 
In what seemed like no time we had made it back to my building and ascended to the rooftop to take in the DC nightscape. The noise of the streets below still drummed its steady beat but up here it felt like a muffled sort of calm. I walked to the railing facing the National Mall and the obelisk that was the Washington Memorial off in the distance. All of NWDC lay sprawled out before us. It was one of my favorite things about living in the city. 
"You know this is one of the reasons I pay a small fortune every month to live here. This view is something else," I said, sighing.
"Yeah. It is," came his soft voice from behind me. Hearing a tone shift in his voice I turned to face him. I was not at all prepared for what happened next. 
As I turned Tadeu was standing inches in front of me. He gently grabbed both my wrists and I felt blood rush to my cheeks in an instant at his touch. We both jumped as if we had both been zapped by some unseen spark and he took a step back and looked awkwardly off into the city. We stood there in silence for a moment both looking in different directions before-
"Uh. It's getting late and I have an early flight to catch," he said softly again.
"Huh? Oh yeah. Let's uh...let's go I have to be up early tomorrow for a thing," I said mentally kicking myself for sounding so simple. 
The elevator ride back to the lobby took what felt like eons. Neither of us spoke the whole way down or while waiting for his Uber. He didn't give so much as a backwards glance as he hopped in the Dodge Challenger that arrived to sweep him off to his hotel. I lit up a cigarette as the car disappeared from view silently forming my first dating rule: Under NO circumstance do you go drinking alone with the questionable straight guy.